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Nov. 11th, 2007 | 09:10 pm
posted by: sunnyblu in pregnancychoice

We want to adopt and believe the right match will happen if we make ourselves available.
It may be the option/choice someone is looking for.
Please ask any questions without fear of judgment or pressure.

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Comments {2}

the boxer

no questions...

from: graymaus
date: Nov. 12th, 2007 05:59 pm (UTC)

just some words of advice:

be patient when you find a birth mother.

if possible talk with the birth mother as much as possible pre-adoption if you can. you need to feel comfortable with the birth mother, and be sure she is comfortable with you.

semi open adoption (sending pix/letters twice a year) has been much less nerve wrecking for me (a birth mother of 2). i feel a lot better knowing that my children are happy and healthy.

think hard before telling the child they are adopted. i have been in my 1st sons life since day 1. from telling his 1st grade teacher that he is adopted he has avidly been wanting to know "the woman he came from," which has caused his mother to become less willing to allow me to see him for fear that i will say something to him. which i never would. personally i think they should have waited till he was old enough to reason with it on his own terms. it has made things much more difficult all around, to a point where when i am around him i can feel the watchful eyes upon us. but that adoption was also very open. i have known his parents since i was a child. they are friends of the family and i see them on a regular basis. sometimes its hard to see him and know that i gave him away, not that i would ever change anything, but it is extremely difficult to interact with the beautiful child that is no longer mine, and its even harder to pretend he never was. and has taken me very very very long to be able to deal with mentally.

be extremely thankful and be sure to let the birth mother know how much you appreciate them. sometimes i get highly annoyed at the fact that i feel the only time i have been appreciated was pre-adoption. i know once everything is signed technically that is the end of most interaction between the birth mothers and the parents, but mothers never stop worrying. the reason we gave our children up for adoption in the first place is we wanted to assure that they were getting the best care and love as possible. personally, i would be happy with a card full of pix on mothers day. it is my most dreaded holiday. there is nothing like having had 2 children and having absolutely nothing to show for it aside for some strech marks and a sagging belly. i love my children, i did what was best for them, they are no longer in my life but i am and will always be their birth mother. i have personally been told time and time again that i did the wrong thing by numerous people, that i took the childs way out. its something i personally have to battle with every time i meet new people. makes life rough. but i'm glad i did what i did. regardless of what everyone else has to say.

at this point in my life i feel fairly comfortable with everything that has been said and done but i know if someone took the time to.

thank you for listening to me ramble, im not sure if its much help but i hope it does make you see things from the other side of the fence.

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electric misfit love machine

Re: no questions...

from: eyelid
date: Nov. 16th, 2007 03:48 pm (UTC)

i have personally been told time and time again that i did the wrong thing by numerous people, that i took the childs way out.

That is ridiculous! I can't believe they would say such a thing. I hope you do not listen to them.

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