mmm doughnut
  • axl12

Thinking about abortion before having sex

Hello all,
My gf asks me for PIV sex but I refused cos
I'm afraid to make her fall pregnant and
we're not in position to have a baby now.
I will agree to abortion if an unwanted pregnancy
occurs, but I'm just not sure with her.
Many women will change their mind once they're pregnant.

So my question is, as there is no 100% effective
birth control method, do you guys think about
abortion before having sex?
me dakota

New Here

I just found this community and I think it is rad that there is one like it on LJ.

About me: I am 27 years old and I placed my daughter in an open adoption 7.5 years ago when I was 19. I have been blessed with finding such an awesome couple to be parents of my daughter, as I was not ready to be a mom yet.

I have recently decieded that I want to get into the 'choice education' movement. I have volunteered for Planned Parenthood for 8 months, and I have volunteered for Backline (a pregnancy options talkline) for 1.5 years.

I am the creator/moderator of openadoption Feel free to ask me anything about my experience.
  • Current Mood
  • eyelid

useful links

My favorite pregnancy-decisionmaking link is They are totally unbiased, from what I can see, and they give really good worksheets for people to use in making their decision.

If you know of any links useful for :

-non-pressuring adoption resources
-childrearing resources (including legal resources for Temporary Aid to Needy Families and the like)
-abortion resources (I have a lot of those already, but more can't hurt)

...please let me know and I'll add them to the userinfo, or one of the other mods will.
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your mods so far

I am the community owner, but I'm hoping my mods will take over most of the work here because I am lazy :D So far you have two mods:

moon_ferret. Moon_ferret has experienced every choice firsthand: she is a birthmother (i.e. has placed a child for adoption), she has had an abortion, and she had three children. She knows of and is compiling a list of resources for those wishing to place children for adoption.

nothingmuch. Nothingmuch is a teen mom success story, and I'll allow her to tell it herself :) I'm depending on her to provide info and support to those women who come here looking for resources for raising children, especially as young moms.

As for me, I had an abortion nearly six years ago. I am still with the father (patrickwonders); we have been married for nearly five years and we now have one planned child together. I am a lawyer and hope to be able to provide some unofficial guidance on legal matters when necessary (though I am far from a family law expert).

I'm hoping to add at least one more mod, and luckily a lot of people have very kindly volunteered to help. I'll hopefully make that decision tomorrow and update.

Also, sorry this community remains at this time ass-ugly :) Possibly one of my mods will help out by making it beautiful.
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Welcome all - ground rules

Welcome to pregnancychoice. This community was created to provide a completely safe and unbiased space for women and girls who are facing an unplanned or otherwise crisis pregnancy and want support, information, and help making their decision regarding the pregnancy.

This is a safe space. That means that women coming here must feel safe in sharing their stories and speaking about personal sexual decisions that much of society would criticize them for.

SO, A few ground rules:

1) No pressure. Pressure can range from "how could you give up your child" and "if you murder your baby it'll haunt you forever" to "women tend to regret their abortions" or "you'll regret it if you don't keep your child." I want to make clear right from the beginning that no one here is to tell any woman what she should do regarding her pregnancy. Every choice is valid. What seems to be the "obviously right" choice to you may not be the right choice for her.

so what CAN we do? We can help a woman find resources to support any and every choice. We can give her moral support. We can discuss her situation with her and try to help her discover which choice she feels inside is the best one for her. We can help a woman to make the choice she wants to make but thinks is impossible - whichever choice that is. We can listen.

2) RESPECT. Every person is worthy of respect. And everyone here will show everyone else respect. No lecturing. No bullying. No disparaging. No condescending. Respect only and respect fully. This is not always going to be easy. If it's too hard for you on a given post, just don't comment on that post.

3) No judging of a woman's personal sexual choices, birth control choices, and/or relationship choices. It doesn't matter if she's slept with the football team or was raped in an alley, no one will make disparaging comments. No one will criticize. It doesn't matter if she used 3 forms of BC or had unprotected sex every night for three months. No one will comment. No one will judge. No one will allude. No one will pointedly suggest that she use BC from now on. People are sensitive about their BC habits. Hormones don't work for everyone. Remember that you don't know this person's story or her reasons for her BC practices. And remember it's not your business. People are coming here because they have a problem they need help solving, not for a lecture. Making them feel bad about their bc choices will cause them to leave and not come back.

what if there's instances of abuse? Treat this as the delicate subject it is. If you disparage a person's loved one, they are likely to close up on you. Try to criticize the behavior instead of the person if possible. Gently direct the victim to resources. Make no judgments and no demands.

We've had these rules in abortioninfo for a long time, and that's what's made it the safe and helpful community that it is. Let's make this community just as safe, and just as helpful. A true community dedicated to helping others!